Watercooler Tidbits 3rd Oct 2011

"Man is a social animal" is what I have been taught since the time, I don't remember anymore. So what exactly does this statement mean. What I understand from this is that, one, Man is after all, an animal, thus savage and two, he "needs" a society with certain dogmas to lead a "normal" life. "Need" and "normal" are so relative but I don't intend to delve into those perspectives.

So, we agree, that Man is an animal and he's social. Somehow the "animal" part got me thinking more. I take a tangent now, knowingly. I think men are categorized as animals because there is some part within us which is never at peace. Obvious questions, not at peace with what, which part, why, how. Not at peace with the present state of affairs. Which part? I personally believe it's the mind but somewhere that answer does not satiate. Well, I see how I just embodied "not at peace with the present state of affairs". How, is a million dollar question which I can't answer. Why, because the mind, by our present reality, is so well trained to look into the future that the future always looks better and more promising than the present.

Anyways, a deeper thought into the discontentment, previously discussed, somehow made me think about the behaviour patterns we endorse now. Our inferiority complex, our insecurities, our jealousy! These are the outcomes of "something", "which WE THINK, we lack". The "something" which is the causal, is a Pandora's box. It is worth every nano-second to explore it, but it requires one to just "be", that is to say, it requires contemplation; which I think is the most difficult task, for me, as of now, because I prefer "the jazz" to "the silence".

Furthermore, these thoughts, very well, propel our body to have disorders, in ways, we may not like to look at. For example, eating, sleeping disorders. Well, gossip is also a disorder. How? We feed an "empty bowl" (which only FEELS empty) with the tidbits. At this point of time, I have a million questions to ask. Why, how, when. Although I just know the answers, and have not "felt" them, I shall not "papa preach".

So, gossip stays for now, as the best, cheapest form of entertainment for most of us. May be because an old adage brainwashed us to believe that "knowledge is power". If you are working for a modularised bureau, then canteen, the next cubicle or the water-cooler are the best places you would find a cue to pacify that sudden rush of "knowing" which is also called "vampire-feeding" or better yet, gossiping, for us, laymen.

A few days back, I went to the water-cooler bay, which has huge windows, in our office, to bask in a bit of sunlight, since I felt too cold because of the air-coolers. It was nice and silent. I could hear only the sound of the water-drops from the water-cooler. I stood at the window, which was tinted and showed my reflection in a bluish hue. Suddenly, two women rush there and seat themselves on the bean bags. To maintain anonymity “to respect the privacy”, let’s call them Lady1 and Lady2. The ladies begin their talk with a few giggles. They were married, I assumed, from their discussion on husbands to cooking in the morning. After a hush-hush talk on "something", they talk about their mother-in-laws.

Lady1 - "My mother-in-law is an amazing woman. She did... for us, she maintains a decorum at home. My father-in-law consults my mother-in-law on almost all matters."

Lady2 - "My mother-in-law is the most jovial lady you'll find. She cracks jokes at the drop of a hat. We are so happy when our mother-in-law is here."

Lady1 - "That is amazing. How come she is so humorous? She must have had a great life."

Lady2 - "Oh yes, she laughs at anything and everything, anyone and everyone. She is such a happy person."

Lady1 - "Wow! So when is she going to come next, to see you?"

Lady2 - "Well, that's the thing. She is coming next week" {with a grimace}

Lady1 - "So? Aren't you happy?"

Lady2 - "I am. But you know it is kind of tough for me to handle her sometimes. She instructs me to do everything her way."

Lady1 - "Oh yeah! I know what you mean."

Lady2 - "No you don't. She gets irritating and then I have a string of fights with my husband. Why can't she let me just be? Why does she have to laugh at me? Every time!"

Lady1 - "But isn't that good... she is humorous, right?"

Lady2 - "Oh come on, is that really humour, when I am asked as to why my husband should heat the milk in the morning while I get the clothes ready."

Lady1 – “My mother-in-law is the same. She cribs about almost everything about me. Including the food I eat.”

Lady2 – “Hell! One shouldn’t marry!”

Lady1 – “Yes, but you know we HAVE TO.”

Lady2 – “I know...”

Blah, blah, blah...

Marriage is a big, big question. To add to the “solved-mystery”, how difficult it is to accept a whole bunch of new relations though marriage, for both men and women. And tolerate or rather succumb to the “get-togethers”. Then, this had me wondering if I can genuinely, ever appreciate anyone. If I do, do I criticize them, after a while.

To be continued...